Sense of Loss: Anger

Hello Readers,

Thank you for reading. When a major change in life happens, there are a range of thoughts and emotions that can be triggered. And it may not only have the emotions that are directly related to that specific experience or news that you’re going through at the time. Any kind of news can strike up a memory, that you thought was dealt with. It’s usually a memory that we related to a sad or angry time in our lives. Therefore, self-awareness is important in troubled times. It allows us to take a glance back and seek at our own reactions to that experience. But, sometimes when we’re in the middle of a crises, we get narrow minded, instead of embracing the change. It’s difficult to embrace the uncomfortable, but are bodies are extremely adaptable. When we’re dealing with any type of emotional and mental shock, our bodies are trying to make sense. And since we live under a social structure that believes in control. We take this lack of control and internalize it, feeling like it’s a weakness. It’s not. Don’t get me wrong, we do have control in certain areas in life and ourselves. Being shocked is not one of them. Receiving the news that our lives will change, without our consent, is a tough pill to swallow. Especially when we feel that the decision is not ours. There’s that lack of control, that we must deal with. So now we must learn how to accept that lack of control. Since control and life is a broad topic, I’m going to narrow down the subject to the sense of loss. As I stated in the previous post, Culture Shock is an event that is like the grieving process. You’ll start out with denial. “There’s no way this is happening.” And then, you may reach to the conclusion of, “How come I didn’t get a say.” That is our minds coming to the realization. That we didn’t have control over a decision that will change the course of our lives. Remember, when I’m discussing this portion of Culture Shock, it falls under the context of being forced to change our lives because of an unforeseen circumstance; Loss of job, maybe you have parents who are divorced and you need to pick up and move in with the other parent. There can be numerous reasons why, but the shock is universal. After the initial shock, and your disbelief of the situation has lifted. This can take you into the anger stage. There will be anger, believe me. How we deal with this is what we’re going to discuss.

In my opinion, anger is one of the most powerful emotions that we have, and it can help or harm us depending on our behavior. If you’re a person who reacts without thought, then it will harm. If you’re someone who holds in their anger, it can lead to depression. And either one of these ways can physically harm you. Therefore, self-awareness is important. Anger likes to feed; it needs to feed to live. This is where the past can haunt you and feed the anger through memory. Being able to identify which experience is driving the anger, will take some hard work. There are different ways that we can do this. I’ve mentioned before, that I write. If you’re someone who doesn’t like to write, then there are other ways to defuse that anger. If you enjoy sports, dancing, or running. The anger needs a release. It needs an outlet, and physical activity is a great way to unleash the anger. I know that anger is frowned upon in some societies, but I’m here to say that in a Culture Shock scenario, it’s common. Culture Shock is an experience that I consider a moral wound. It changes who we are at the very core. This anger that is felt, is understandable. But what can happen if you ignore the anger? It can spin out of control and lead you into the abyss.

Confronting the anger is what needs to be done, and you may have to ask for help. The best people to ask for help, are the ones that won’t judge. The one’s who will listen to you. I found it much easier to deal with the anger, when I speak it out loud. Tell someone. It helps make the anger real. You’re not trying to justify the anger, because it’s yours. Justifying is judgment. If you’re looking for someone to tell you whether you’re right or wrong in feeling this way, you’re setting yourself up to continue feeling angry. All you want to do is to release it, so you can continue with the healing process. When you release the anger, it allows us to step back and analyze. It helps us to move forward through the process.

I will continue the anger stage in my next post, because I believe that anger is the biggest obstacle that we have in loss. There are many parts to us that anger can feed from, or feed on. If you have any comments, I would love to hear them. If you went through this experience, feel free to share it with the readers. Other perspectives help tremendously, because what works for one, may not work for another. Thank you for reading Free-Word.

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