Sense of Loss: Denial


Thank you for stopping by. In my previous posts, I’ve been discussing Culture Shock, and how it can affect someone. It can be jolting, just like grief. The person involved can go through some similar stages of grief, because there’s going to be a sense of loss within yourself. A loss so powerful, you may feel an overwhelmed, and it may be difficult to deal with at times. Culture Shock doesn’t have to be moving from one country to another. It can be within the country, you call home. You can move from one town to another or move from a rural area to a big city. The shock may be hidden by our own character. Some people may call it flaws, but I choose not to see it that way. If we are searching for a balance inside of us, then that attribute is a part of who we are. If you don’t like something about yourself, then you have that freedom to change. The characteristics that I’m going to mention is shaped by our past, and by the society we were raised in. These characteristic traits may be hidden deep beneath the core, which can lead us blindly down the road of denial. While I was down the street, I got to thinking about how I was shaped by society, and what is innate. I’m still working on the natural, but the shaping of who I am, does play a roll in how we deal with experiences. We may think that we’re the ones that are controlling what’s happening, and part of that, I believe is true. But how we’re raised, plays a significant role. This is one of the reasons why self-awareness is crucial in times of crises.

For example; After studying gender, and how gender is created from the moment we are born, can be a form of denial. If you believe men aren’t supposed to look weak, or women are expected to cry in situations of crises, then you’re sadly mistaken. I believe that people have the right to be who they want to be, without interference. That’s not the case, but some societies are working on it. So, let’s look at denial once again. We can bounce back and forth between different stages. And remember, there isn’t a time frame, but if you feel stuck, then there are different options for you to take to get unstuck. I’ll give you some at the end of the post, but for now, let’s look at how we can bounce back into denial.

If you’re taught, this is what a man is supposed to be, then there is some lingering denial that can hinder the healing process. As a man, you may have been told, or shown, that you’re not supposed to ask for help. That is denial. But women may be taught to take care of the man and ignore their own grieving process. Which is some back-dated thinking. This may sound selfish to some, and if it does, you may want to see if that’s a part of your thinking process that’s keeping you from healing. I don’t want to get into a gender debate, at least not in this post. Cultures have different traditions for men and women, but a sense of loss is universal. You will try to fight this loss, because human beings are fighters. Knowing what piece of you is fighting, can help you move through that obstacle. There will be growing pains, and they will hurt like hell at times, but you are not alone. Your family is going through the same process. If you’re not sure, ask them. If you don’t have that type of relationship, then you can ask me. You may think that you haven’t taken any steps closer to identifying the moral wound or wounds. Just give it time. Nothing heals overnight, especially the grieving process. Looking inside yourself is a key element to weeding out the thoughts and emotions of denial. When you find yourself dwelling, write it down. Then read it. Try not to judge. If your judging your grieving process, then look at that judgment. More than likely, that’s your denial.

If you find yourself in a hole, there are ways that you can climb out. It involves asking for help. If your reading this post, then you have access to the Internet. You can search for groups that are experiencing the same. If you have access to counselors or therapists, contact them, and see if there are any groups that they hold. If you have any comments, questions, or concerns, please don’t hesitate to contact Free-Word. I will help you as much as I can. Thank you for reading.

Free-Word: A Veteran’s Blog


Thank you for checking out Free-Word. There are times in our lives where stress is unavoidable. A person is met face to face with a decision that challenges our morals. These choices will more than likely change the outcome of our own lives. Not to mention the lives of others. Nobody lives in a vacuum and depending on your own philosophical ideology, the outcome may go either way. When we find ourselves staring into stressful conditions, any decision may seem bleak. You are not alone. We tend to become zeroed in on what was once open space, gazing into infinite dreams. Now we’re standing in the Funhouse of Mirrors, wondering which way is out. The seconds playing leapfrog.

Have you ever found yourself in the best of moods? Nothing can bring you down off that cloud. But…you are now in a coffee shop, sipping your favorite drink. Directly across from you, a person is sitting at the corner table…muttering. At first, not even the constant sighing can blow you off that cloud, but the sound of the nagging winds begin to penetrate. It’s not that we want to focus on the unfavorable weather. It’s the basic Laws of Attraction. The positive is attracted to the negative and vice-versa. The stress of the corner patron is external, but it triggers an uneasiness inside us that needs to be answered. It’s not about the person in the corner, who may be realizing that they’ve been drinking the wrong flavor of coffee, but something that lives inside of us. That annoyance or stress that’s telling us we need a change.

Stress can hide in between the thoughts, beneath the emotions like a snake blending in with the leaves waiting to strike. Sometimes the symptoms are elusive because we’re knee-deep in the experience, or buried in past experiences. We’re going to dig deep, by taking a look at our own symptoms of stress. We’re going to find ways to identify, analyze, and find ways of dealing with the change head-on. Stress is all about change. Let’s face it. It’s basically daring us to change.  The goal is not to compare the experience, but to focus on the common ground we stand on. The similarities that make us human. Our thoughts and emotions, strengths and weaknesses, our past, present and future.

Free-Word is about finding ourselves by facing ourselves. I deal with stress in different creative ways. I love writing poetry, stories, and philosophy. Some people may find it difficult to express themselves. Years of unhealthy stress can cloud the ability to identifying our internal obstacles. We become casualties to ourselves, and the only way to combat stress is to face it head-on.

Thank you for taking the time and reading Free-Word. There is a learning experience in each and every one of us. My comment section and email are always open, so feel free to speak your mind.